Not looking forward to Christmas

I’ve never asked turkeys what they think about Christmas. I strongly suspect that they might just vote for the abolition of the festival – especially in the UK.

Despite all the vegetarians, vegans and animal rights protestors we still consume 10 million turkeys each year according to the British Turkey producers’ records. Given that the population of the UK last year was 66 million and given that one turkey at Christmas feeds several people, that’s an awful lot of turkeys. Just think there are more turkeys killed in Britain around Christmas than there are people in London!

No wonder the birds look so miserable. Mind you I can’t say that they are attractive birds, As far as looks are concerned I think chickens and hens come top of the list and even geese, allowing for the fact that they pooh everywhere, can be very impressive.

Then there are swans, but everyone will tell you that they are owned by the crown – actually not strictly true – but while they look good, they are not all that tasty. Lesser flying beasties like grouse, pheasant, ptarmigan and the like are indeed hunted, shot and eaten, but for some reason they are not top of the list at Christmas

“It’s a tradition” my Yorkshire granny told me “dating back to the sixteenth century when a Yorkshireman (it had to be of course) William Strickland acquired six birds from American Indian traders and introduced the species into Britain.” I’ll let you battle it out with my granny – I wouldn’t dare.

So hard luck turkeys, once again you gobble now for the next week or so and we’ll gobble later.