Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once
That was my trouble – I didn’t and so when my photography “course leader” for course leader understand “teacher” said, “I would like to see your six favourite photographs and a self-portrait” I combined the two and left out the indefinite article.
Six self-portraits and let’s just forget about my six favourite photographs for the moment.
I thought devoted readers (all three of them) might be entertained by the result.
Now about selfies – these are not selfies – the blood sweat toil and tears that went into the production of these self-portraits involved much more than sticking a compact camera on the end of a pole, using a self-timer and smiling.
There were tripods, lights, extended cable releases and special backdrops. Our garage, normally home to the family car was turned into an instant studio with discarded vehicle lights hanging from the beams and a disused tarpaulin draped across bicycles and an outboard motor.
That was only the first one.
The second involved placing the camera on a sharp bend in a narrow lane facing the wing mirror of my Land Rover. Passing motorists assumed it was a new form of speed trap and hit the brakes hard. Such a shame my camera doesn’t record sound. One concerned retired doctor thought I was having a heart attack and inevitably a tractor and trailer full of compost requested entry to the field.
I quite enjoyed doing the mirror picture. Really the only suitable place to take that one was our main bedroom, which catches the sun but which also overlooks the drive. The postman enjoyed it as well and watched most of the proceedings with a puzzled expression. For some time he has thought me eccentric, but now fears he is delivering letters to the dwelling of a loony.
The chess picture was relatively simple to set up. However the additional lighting that had to be used was quite complicated. Complicated in the sense that it was almost impossible to navigate the conglomeration of wires, adapters and precariously perched reflectors before the ten seconds delay expired. Several prototypes of this picture happened showing me skidding to halt on the chair or even not there at all – which some would say was an improved the picture no end.
Sunglasses? All done in Photoshop with three images. One with an exotic pair of sunglasses purchased in Sheringham. A rather puzzled shop assistant let me have them half price. It was raining heavily at the time and once again she felt it was wise to humour such customers on one of the coldest and wettest days of the autumn. The other two are reflections in the posh tinted glass windows of the family auto.
The only really sensible picture in this gallery was taken with me sitting in front of the bookcase in my study staring out of the window. Titles for this one are of course welcome. Unkind fiends have asked if I was waiting for the mobile chippy. Others have wondered what the book, that was receiving such scant interest. No one has, as yet guessed that I was actually holding the bookcase up with my back. (Myerscough woodworking projects have the habit of wobbling a little).
Here endeth the fun of six instead of one self-portrait.
If truth were known it’s not my hearing that is faulty. It is just the way my brain seems to be in the habit of scrambling consecutive pieces of information into a more interesting and puzzling combination.